baby steps

to most people, this may not seem like much, but for me, it's another small accomplishment.  i actually noticed the moment that i felt full when i was eating brunch this morning.  and I stopped eating, even though there was still food left on my plate.

More importantly, though, I didn't want any more.

Awesome!

distressed

admittedly, i have been desperate to find a way to make (and more importantly WANT TO make) working out a priority again.  somehow, over the last few months, exercise and working out took a backseat to doing things like cooking and cleaning.  i mean, really?!  who WANTS to cook and clean?

i have completely reverted back to my old ways, and i find myself a bit distraught about it.  i'm not sure how to enjoy working out again and get back to my somewhat fit body.  the last 8 days have been a food-fest--unfortunately--although it all did taste good at the time.  perhaps i should just start working out regardless of my opinion of it (JUST DO IT...????) and maybe, just maybe, i will remember the appeal and will be motivated again to continue.  it doesn't help that my gym is changing ownership, and i don't know if i will like the new management.  i was quite happy with my gym and its instructors, so i may be using that money i pay in membership dues towards gas to drive to & from tae kwon do/kickboxing.

lackadaisical

it's sad to admit, but the motivation is scarce these days.  i think about working out, but it usually just remains a thought.  all things i loved about it are no longer a motivation for me.  i'm not sure why that is, but i seem to have lost motivation to go to class or anything.  perhaps i should try different classes at the gym since they've introduced new things.  maybe that will help.

here I go again

I know it's cyclical, but I started the Couch to 5K program over...again.  I was able to skip Week 1 because it was too easy, but Week 2 was slightly difficult, so I opted to complete the week.  I had forgotten how much running causes your leg muscles to tighten, so I need to be more diligent about stretching afterwards. Tomorrow, I scheduled to run W2D2, and surprisingly, I'm looking forward to it.

change of pace

Now, that I've finally leveled up in TKD, I am surprised to find that my motivation has diminished somewhat.  The pace is completely different than being a color belt, and it's more self-study.  I know I can do it, but there are other things I want to do.  I want to start running regularly--so I can be ready during the heat of the summer; more weight training at the gym; possibly even start teaching classes at the gym.  I still want to get a black belt in TKD, but the task seems so much more daunting now that I'm at the bottom of the next level.  When I decided to start taking classes again, it didn't feel like I was a newbie since I knew the curriculum.  It's a different ball game now.

It seems pretty silly, and I'm probably just whining.  The quicker I get thru the white & yellow belt stuff, the sooner I can take the first pre-test.

It's just difficult now b/c I haven't decided on a short-term goal to work towards.  Once I figure that out, I think I'll feel a bit more focused again.

ten-fold

I like results.  They motivate me to keep up the consistency, as well as provide inspiration to change up my routine.  Tonight included TKD, independent practice (with Ab Ripper X), and KB.  I was worn out when I got home, but it's a good feeling.  I've finally wound down after my shower and am about to pass out.  I feel so much stronger lately, and it's a great feeling.  I like being proud of myself for this accomplishment.

It took a long time to get the habit established, but now that it's set in, I will fight tooth and nail to keep it up.

My next test for Bo Cho Dahn is next Friday night.  I'm not nervous about forms or self-defense, or even my kicking break.  What worries me is sparring and the power break.  The focus of my attendance next week will be the power break because I can't seem to get the rhythm of it.  Conceptually I know what I should be doing, but coordinating all the body parts and the mind to focus strength and power into one point is more challenging than I realized.  I've watched many people do this break, and some of them make it look easy.  I've also seen several people beat their hands against a concrete slab to no avail, and I desperately do not want to be one of those people.

During tonight's practice, I put my hand through the practice boards 2-3 times, but I also attempted several thuds.  They're discouraging because all that force you use to unsuccessfully break through has to go somewhere when the boards don't split.  Usually, it rebounds back into your hand, arm, and shoulder and is quite painful, especially after repeated attempts.  On the occasions where I broke through, I remember a rush of power and no fear.  I knew I was going to break it before I did so it was a piece of cake.  The problem was recreating that surety and summoning the courage--more accurately, displacing the fear of failure.  This is only practice...Imagine a room full of people watching, when the pressure is ten-fold.

Commit

My attendance at Body Pump has been fairly consistent.  I went to class this morning and even increased the weight on Squats, Chest, and Back.  I was exhausted by the time I arrived at Christy's house to help her move the futon.  I could how fatigued my muscles were when I shifted my weight to get out of the car.  That doesn't usually make my legs burn!  It was a bit embarrassing trying to move furniture because I know that under different circumstances, I wouldn't have felt so weak.  I know I had a legitimate excuse, but still...

I am re-determined to get toner for the summer.  Bathing suit time is coming up quick, and I need to focus on staying committed to working out regularly.

monkey see, monkey do

I learned something about myself last week.  If I stand in front of the mirror at Body Pump class, I am more inclined to stop when all my muscles burn and scream at me to stop.

Last Wednesday, I arrived a bit late to Body Pump, so the only available space was front and center directly in front of the instructor's raised platform.  No mirror there, and my only view is of the instructor.

Well, during the squat track, when I usually stop b/c my legs are burning, I looked up and saw that the instructor was NOT quitting.  So I kept going.  My mind wandered from "ow. ow.  ow.  need to stop." to "ow, ow, ow, but she's still moving, has way more weight on her bar" but all the while, I kept moving.  And I'm pretty pleased with the result.  I've done this 2 classes in a row now, and I've been sore after both classes.  I haven't been sore after class in a long time.

I saw myself stopping in the mirror, so I did.  I saw her not stopping, so I did that too.
Monkey See, Monkey Do.

Progress Is Motivation!

I'm sad to report that my P90X workout has completely vanished.  That doesn't mean that I have not been working out, but that I have not stuck to the P90X schedule.  I think the only routines from that plan that I am interested in continuing are Chest & Back, Plyometrics, and Legs & Back--oh, and how could I have forgotten AB RIPPER??  Combine those with Body Pump 1-2 times a week and Tae Kwon Do 2-3 times a week and I've run out of days of the week!  I usually try and do Ab Ripper after TKD class, and I can already see a difference in my posture and ab definition.  Nothing to show off yet, but I see improvement.  :)

On the food front, I've been eating really well lately.  Well, what I consider acceptable and guilt-free.  I allow myself a slice of pizza here and a bit of fast food there, but overall, my meals consist of spinach salad and some sort of lean meat.  I'd like to incorporate more fish into my diet, but that requires me to cook, and with my workout schedule (see above), cooking isn't really in my future.

I've noticed that I haven't been craving much carbs.  I have been trying to limit my carb-intake to early in the day so I have time to burn it off before going to bed.  Dinner this week has been spinach salad with chopped deli meat and hard-boiled egg as toppings.  I could probably cut out the cheese to save the calories and fat, but honestly, I like the flavor and texture that it adds.  I need to at least enjoy my rabbit food!

Inner Peace

I struggled to wake before 6 a.m. this morning, but I did it!  I did 2 Yoga videos (sculpting lower body and strengthen/tone upper body), as well as 10 min of Meditation.

As difficult as it is to wake that early, I am going to try and do this each morning this week.  I feel so grounded and balanced right now.  The inner peace that comes with sweat and meditation are worth the 60 minutes of sleep I am giving up.

Consistently Not P90X

My effort to do P90X has morphed into something else.  I haven't been sticking to the P90X regimen, but I have been trying to stay consistent with weight training and cardio.  I noticed the biggest improvement from when I did Plyometrics two weeks in a row.  My cardiovascular endurance seemed to increase, so I should probably do that one more often than not.  Unfortunately, it's probably the most unpleasant one for me.  I'm also trying to fit in 30-min runs and/or walks around the lake.  I've moved up to Week 3 of C25K, since the Week 2 run became to easy for me.

This week is Sparring Week at TKD.  It's good that I can fit in my sparring classes before testing, but oh, how I loathe sparring.

got bruises?

Tonight was my first night back to sparring.  It didn't go well.  I'm slow, uncoordinated, and off-balance.  Oh, and my timing sucks (not that it was ever that great).  To top it all off, I took a side kick to my inner thigh on the right leg.  I was going to post a picture, but the bruise hasn't actually formed yet.  The place of impact is extremely tender, and I fully expect to have a black-and-blue spot that's about 2 inches in diameter in the next couple days.

I'm a little excited about showing off the soon-to-be bruise.

On the other hand, it hurt something fierce!  I tried so hard not to cry, but my efforts were in vain.  Luckily, I was so sweaty that you couldn't really tell the sweat from the tears.  After a few minutes, I was able to walk on the leg, but it might take a few days to get the muscle back to feeling like normal.

I keep asking myself why I continue to do this, but the answer is the same.  I want my black belt.  I set out to get it, and I'm so close that I don't want to quit.  Sparring isn't my favorite thing about TKD, but it's a part of it.  Got to do one to get the other, so here's to hoping my leg heals quickly.  I have to go back in 2 weeks.

P90X - Week 2

I haven't been running, BUT I started P90X last week.  Today is the beginning of Week 2, and I just finished the Chest & Back workout.  I got off-schedule a little last week, so I did Legs & Back (plus Ab Ripper) yesterday.  Typically, you're not supposed to work on Abs 2 days in a row, but I needed to play catch-up.  I could only do a modified version of Ab Ripper today, since I'm bordering on over-doing it.

Anyway, I just finished up, so I've done my workout for today.  *This* is why it's better to get the exercising done first thing in the morning, so it's done, and you don't have to worry about it the rest of the day.  If you choose to do anything else that day, it's just gravy.

A Proud Attempt

I attempted a run this afternoon as my effort to enjoy the wonderful weather today.  It was a W2 run, but it kicked my butt.  I just went out in my neighborhood, which has hills, and found that I couldn't breathe.  The last half was definitely easier than the first half, but my right knee felt off track on several occasions, so I didn't push at all.  I just did what I could and took pride in the simple fact that I went out and did something active.

I need to get back to Body Pump and weight training to get the strength in my right leg back up to acceptable levels.  This lack of agility is starting to irk me, and there isn't much time left before my next test.  I even have to go back to sparring classes, so I really need to work on my endurance training over the next 10 weeks.